Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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