sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the raccoons are back...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
