I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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