babies were throwing up all over the place
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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