I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're completely useless in the revolution.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize