just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
