It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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