I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it was like having sex with a tree stump
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
