She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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