I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
