We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
