my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
