But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
