we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I currently don't understand fingers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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