try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
