I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize