me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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