Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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