Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
