all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
