he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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