Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
