just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
