I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
