Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
