I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
