This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
