That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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