Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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