a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
