I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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