His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize