Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
