Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
