ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
