and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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