remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
