I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
