I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
