It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
