why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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