I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
