shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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