Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
