Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
