she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
