oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it's like iHOP with fire
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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