The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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