I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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