At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize