I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
