youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
