I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
