Already got asked if we're dating
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
