College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm bleeding and have questions
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
