i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
