So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
