Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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