You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
