"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
