White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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