David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
