he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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